Haters Gonna Hate

No matter what path life leads you down, you're always going to find people along the way that are your #1 fans, and people that no matter what you do, how far along that path you've come, are going to try and knock you down. Then you might find that one straggler that really wants to support and cheer you on, but just can't commit 100%.

I like to compare those types of people to my cat. She wants to love Ramallah so much, and can't stand to be away from her for any extended period of time, but every now and then her cat instinct comes out and she's just gotta swat.

As I continue down this weird path I've decided to take for myself, I become more and more aware of those cat people. I'm learning every day to put me first, and to extend my distance from those that aren't worthy of my energy (positive or negative).

This journey of mine is for me, about me, and no one but me is going to make or break it. One of the hardest parts of this is, learning to not feel guilty for putting myself first. Being Co-dependent is exhausting. Constantly worrying about if someone in your life is mad, or upset at you. Wondering if you said the wrong thing to set off the wrong vibe. How mad is someone going to be if you say "not tonight, sorry." Trying to come up with a better excuse other than, "I just kinda want to lay on the couch all night and watch Hoarders."

I'm starting to stop caring about what others are going to think, and care about what I really want.

Winters are tough for me. I know, winters are tough for everyone. But winters are like, really tough. As soon as the days begin to get shorter, and the nights begin to get colder, I can feel myself starting to build up those walls to keep myself inside, safe and secure. And you know? I think that's okay. It's okay to not always be okay. I know I've written about this before. But clearly it's something that I am constantly working on.

This past year has put a lot of things into perspective. I've always run myself into the ground to make sure that everyone around me is happy. To make sure not to leave any person out, to try and give all my friends and family enough of my time to make sure they know how important they are to me.

But you know what? That's gotten old. I hope the people in my life know how much I care and love them. I hope they know that even if I don't see you as much as I should, or check in with you as much as I should, I do still think about you often, and you hold  a special place in my heart. And when those important moments in my life happen, I hope you know that you will be the first to know, like I have been in many parts of your lives. But you know what else I've learned?

This is a two way street.

We all have busy lives, we all have things going on, some are more obvious than others, but we cannot discredit them. Make time, check in every now and then. Help celebrate those special moments.

I try not to get hung up on stuff like this, perseverating on everything that I've put in, and the tiny bit that I've gotten back. But it can be frustrating. However, I'm learning instead of perseverating, persevering is what I need to do. When you need me, if I can, I'll be right there with you by your side cheering you on. When I need you, I hope you'd return the favor. If you can't, time and time again, I won't hold a grudge, I will just know that less energy needs to be spent in that area, and to focus on  something else.

I feel like I'm sounding awfully petty right now. I'm just thinking out loud. But I hope that this help me, and maybe you be able to take a few steps closer to Self Actualization. Our time here is precious (hate that word), spend it doing what you love, doing what makes you the happiest and what will help guide you into being the best version of yourself that you can be.

See all those folks cheering you on down that path of yours? Cheer them back, cheer them on for being great cheerleaders! See those folks that want to cheer you on, but are struggling? Invite them to join you, maybe they will see something new from your perspective and decide, your choices weren't so bad after all. Those folks that just have to hate? Let em hate. It takes more energy to frown than to smile. Hopefully,  eventually they will catch on that negativity takes more energy in the long run.


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