Wear what scares you

Hi friends *waves*


Big News- I finally finished reading a book I started about 2 years ago!!! I bet you are thinking, "man that must have been a HUGE book if it took her that long!!". Nope. 256 pages front to back.


Why did it take me so long to read it then? Because I easily get distracted, and while I always had good intentions to read it, I would read a couple chapters, put it down then see something sparkly and forget about it for the next 6 months. Once life FINALLY slowed down a bit, and I started re-focusing on me, I thought it would be the best time to get back in to the book which kinda kick started me into learning to love myself again. What book was it you ask? "Things No one Will Tell Fat Girls", by Jes Baker. Jes is a body love activist, a spit fire, and someone that I look up to in many, many ways.


Jes wrote this book a couple years ago, and though it may not mean much to everyone, it means a lot to some of us. I'm not going to get into the details of the book, because that's not what this blog post is about, but I highly recommend reading it, if you are working on loving yourself and you have been victim to not being what is considered the standard body type.


Anywaaaaays, the reason I am here today, is to do something I have been wanting to do for a REALLY LONG TIME.


What is your favorite part of summer?


Want to know mine?
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It's my dog's birthday (July 15th, for next years puppy cards)










What's your least favorite part of summer?


Want to know mine??
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It's wearing a bathing suit.


I could probably dress a small village with the amount of bathing suits I have purchased in the last 5 years. I have good intentions and high hopes every time I buy one, but something typically stops me from wearing it more than once, if ever at all.


I've always been so worried about offending someone with the bathing suit I have chosen to wear. Crazy right? Right. Why should I be worried about what other people are thinking in regards to what I am wearing? Because our minds work in mysterious ways? Maybe. Because we have been brainwashed that unless you are a super fit sized 4 model, you should not be in more than a one piece swim suit with a skirt that goes to your knees. Sounds more likely.


You know those plus sized models (typically, until more recently) that pull off those cute high waisted 2 pieces are? Probably a size 10, at most a size 14. Which to most gals that are actually plus sized, isn't actually "plus sized" Oh the things I would have done 8 years ago to be a size 10, 12, heck even 14. I was a size 14 once, and I don't think even then I was happy with myself. The point is, that in recent years, I've began working on ending the cycle of worrying about everyone else and what they think or how they might feel in regards to my choices. Now that's not to say I'm going to go out of my way to offend someone, or hurt someone's feelings, I'm simply saying, that if I want to wear something unconventional, and I feel good about it, I shouldn't shame myself out of wearing it.


I bought my 4th two piece bathing suit earlier this summer. I wore my first 2 piece bathing suit to the ocean this summer.


I've gone through three too many bathing suits to finally stop the negative self talk and bite the bullet and metaphorically stick out my middle finger to the world while laying out on Old Orchard Beach.


Wanna know what happened while I wore my bikini at the beach?


Are you ready?


It's pretty intense.


I got a gnarly sun burn on parts of my body that have never seen sun.


That's right. A sun burn, that's all that happened. No one threw up in disgust, no children ran off crying and certainly not a single person told me to leave, or put on other clothes. Right after taking a photo, a woman and her daughter did come up to me, and asked me something.


Want to know what they asked?


Are you ready?


They asked me to take their photo...while I was in my bikini. So I did. Proudly. With my sunburned belly I took the best photo of that mother/daughter duo, who didn't run in fear.


You might think this is absurd. But this is how my brain works. And more likely than not, this is how a lot of people's brains work whom have body issues. I'm not saying that if you have some negative thoughts surrounding your body the cure is to run out and buy a bikini and then strut around town.


What I'm saying is, not to let all those years of your self doubt and negative self talk stop you from doing what you want. Don't let those years of society telling you that just because you are the way you are you can't do something. If you want to do something, and are comfortable with it (and it won't cause any severe harm) then friggin DO IT. It will be liberating.






Also, please remember to put extra sunscreen on those parts which have literally never seen the sun.

Comments

  1. You Go Girl!!
    As a Lover of the Beach and where I live for 9 months of the yr, I have seen all Shapes and Sizes. If u feel good in it, DO IT. it's all about how you on the inside feels.
    You gotta Love yourself because the Outside World won't do it for you.
    I have been treated horribly and name called for so many years and All I really wanted was Help!!
    Loving Me first changed My Whole World.
    You got this Sarah, your beautiful inside which is the most Important Trait of all.
    ğŸ’žğŸ’žğŸ’žğŸ’žğŸ’žğŸ’žğŸ’žğŸ’ž

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    1. Oh my goodness yes!! Thank you for such true words. <3 <3

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  2. You are A-MAZE-ZAH-ZING!!!!! I loved every word. Truth be told (and you told it well), I could have inserted myself into this EPIC blog post. You are an inspiration to me, Sarah! Love ya Woman!!!

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    1. Oh Jen, I love you too!! So glad you enjoyed the post, words like this help keep me motivated when I feel like I'm just rambling haha

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  3. YOU are so friggin' AWESOME!!!! Love the suit. Love the story. I have worn a t shirt and shorts to swim in since I was about eleven..not so much because I am a big girl but because waaaaay back when I was 11, my boy cousin and I were fooling around wrestling and playing and he saw a pubic hair or two while I was playing around in my suit and made fun of me........I was so devastated...... Words and thoughts can be so damning

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    Replies
    1. So, So damning Ave. Words can last a lifetime. I still remember the harsh words that were said to me when I was around the same age, that really stung then. Hoping that as our culture grows and becomes more diverse, so do those whose minds can be so narrow, unfortunately, I think those minds will take a lot longer to catch up than our culture. Hopefully it will just make us stand taller and prouder <3

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